February 16, 2006

In the wrong profession

Two things happened today that lead me to believe that I am in the wrong line of work.

Exhibit A: I'd make a good bag lady. I wish I had a picture from this morning. It would be HILARIOUS. On second thought, I am really glad I don't have a picture from this morning. You'll just have to use your imagination. I got out of the shower and put on a cute green cordurouy skirt, green and purple argyle socks, and a bra. I realized, with my hair all tangled and wet, that I'd left my boots in the car. So, I throw on a scarf, my garage mechanic's jacket(zipped up), and some furry clogs.

Since I was going outside, I grabbed a smoke and my car keys.

Before school last night, I changed into jeans and sneakers so my work clothes from yesterday were in a Macy's shopping bag in my car.

Picture - if you will - me in my green skirt; purple argyle socks; mechanic's jacket; wet, tangled hair; super long scarf; smoking a cigarette and carrying a shopping bag. Classy, huh? I think I've found my calling. Next time you see me, I might just be on a park bench. It was comfortable, at least, if not fashionable. Plus the hours are really good.

Exhibit B: I'd make a great meeting planner. I give good lunch. My most notable work acheivement this year? Ordering a fantastic lunch for our department meeting. I organize a meeting every month for about 70 people and this month it was bbq brisket sandwiches, pork ribs, potato salad, cole slaw, peach cobbler, and apple cobbler blah blah blah. And it was yummy. But the raves I got would lead one to believe that I just discovered the cure for cancer. It's lunch, people. It's not, like, world peace or anything.

Hmmm. That does give me an idea though. Maybe if we just feed everyone, people will be happy and full and they'll need a nap so much that they won't feel like starting wars. (Go here and click to make a difference.)

I am glad that people loved the food. Really. It gives me a lot of joy to know that people are well-fed and happy (isn't that what America is all about, after all?). But, if that is my biggest career success of 2006, I am seriously deflated. Where's my Ph.D.?

 
 

4 Comments:

At 20:16, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I love those days though where you take a good look in the mirror and say, "where do I really belong?" -- and then go right back to what you normally do.

:)

 
At 20:17, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to see a comedian about 8 years ago and his message was that if everyone had a full stomach that we'd all be content, people would get along and we'd create a world at peace. His slogan was "Eat a biscuit and chill right out!" It was a really good show with a fabulous message. Your post reminded me of him, though I can't remember his name!

 
At 07:13, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahah that sounds like a really lovely outfit :)

And I just looked at your flickr and your hair is what I now like to consider "really long" (however there are also "really REALLY long" and "holy shit so long" so don't worry) I'm not sure if I could commit to that! It looks hot on you though, so perhaps I should stop chickening out a bit :P

 
At 08:32, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your outfit sounded DIVINE!

 

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