April 24, 2006

Let the Lame Begin

Haha! I thought I was totally going to be inspired this week to actually write something creative. But no. I seem to be in permanent Cranky Pants mode and I need some Xanax or some Valium or a nice week in a luxury spa. It's all due to my thyroid condition and let me tell you that it sucks great big giant sweaty donkey balls. It also causes blog posts of such extreme boringness, there is no cure whatsoever.

Anyway, in lieu of real content, here is a meme that I am sure I did in another bloglife but I'm doing it again, because people change and because I have a whole different audience than I did back then. I have driven away all my old loyal readers and now I have new loyal readers. Don't worry, you'll grow weary of me too and move on. It's the story of my life!

I stole this from Luckybuzz (again). Thanks LB. I don't mean the meme is lame, I mean that I am lame. Also, a big procrastinator. This helps me avoid actual work and that is a good thing.

Accent: Indeterminate. I don't sound like anything, except I sometimes say "aboot" and sometimes I say "y'all".
Booze: Grey Goose L'Orange Cosmo, please.
Chore I Hate: Washing my car. Filing my taxes. Balancing the checkbook.
Dog or Cat: An orange and white monstrosity called Pi. You all saw him last week, strking such a pretty pose!
Essential Electronics: My new laptop! And my digital camera. I want to throw my cell phone off a cliff, if you must know the truth.
Favorite Cologne(s): I don't wear cologne, but I love my shower gel: Sonic Death Monkey Shower Gel by Lush. It smells like coffee, chocolate and lime. YUM! I smell soooo good when I get out of the shower.
Gold or Silver: Silver, white gold, platinum.
Hometown: Fort Worth, Texas
Insomnia: Definitely not. My husband has enough for both of us.
Job Title: Supreme Ruler of the Malcontents. Once in a while I am SuperGoddess Extraordinaire. But, I'm usually a mlacontent.
Kids: 2 Awesome kids that I personally pushed out of my vagina and one Awesome stepson who I wish I could take credit for, too, but can't.
Living arrangements: Me, the Mr. and our cat. Most of the time.
Most admirable trait: I can do math! My husband told me so just the other day. I said "Your shirt says 2002. Wow, that was four years ago" and he said "Wow, you can do math."
Number of sexual partners: Depends on who is asking. I've been married twice, so it's safe to say at least two. Do I count the football team as one or do I count each one individually? Ditto for the Debate Team.
Overnight hospital stays: Three. One for tonsillectomy. Two for birthing my chillins.
Phobias: Telling the truth and not being believed.
Quote: "Any idiot can handle a crisis, it's the day to day living that wears me out. "- Anton Chekhov
Religion: Agnostic, with bits of Buddhism, Christianity, Paganism, and Judaism mixed in.
Siblings: Two younger sisters who sometimes make me look like the picture of mental health! (Note to sister who reads here: I'm not talking about you!)
Time I wake up: 6:30ish during the work week.
Unusual talent or skill: I would like to say it's my encyclopedic knowledge of everything, but it's most likely my unusual ability to get cat hair on every article of clothing without even trying and/or noticing. I am also extraordinarily talented at tripping over nothing. And bumping into the corner of every piece of furniture, doorways and walls. I used to know how to bounce checks effortlessly, but luckily that talent has all but vanished.
Vegetable I refuse to eat: Lima beans and Brussels' sprouts.
Worst habit: Blogging when I should be working.
X-rays: I've had a few.
Yummy foods I make: Like Luckybuzz, I think my talents lie more with ordering takeout and delivery. But I can make a mean homemade Macaroni and Cheese.
Zodiac sign: Scorpio Monkey. That means I am smart and funny and sexy and I always get the last word! Which means I am smart and funny and sexy. The end.



At 14:41, Blogger BrightStar said...

Math is awesome.

Lush products are excellent.

At 21:00, Blogger luckybuzz said...

The football team made me laugh out loud. :)

At 06:22, Blogger Craig said...

Ok, the football team isn't that surprising, but the debate team? Have some pride. Or standards. Or both.

At 11:55, Blogger Jesse said...

Through reading all of the people whom have done this meme, I am increasingly pleased at the distinct lack of "Liking" colognes.

And this reinforces my belief that my boss is a freak for putting on so much odor every day I can smell him the second I step in the building.

Oh yeah, odors have a tendency to make me irrationally mad. Not all odors, just certain ones. The one by boss uses is one of them.

That is all I have to say about that.


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