April 10, 2006

Lost Blogs, Vol. I

[Editor's note: the following blog post has been hijacked by a voice from the past. Click the Lost Blogs logo at left to learn more. And buy Paul's book. I get nothing from this except the torment sheer joy of helping someone else earn a living. If you care to venture a guess as to who my 'mystery blogger' is, the comments are open! If not, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.]




December 3, 1919

Mr. P, the dreadful wank, is still dispatched overseas. I have no idea when he's coming home but I do have my eye on a few tasty boys in the office. I'm only getting through this senseless, war-time absence thanks to ever abundant quantities of gin and the friends I've made at work on the new magazine. We'll be having lunch again tomorrow. If not for the dear old chaps, I'd probably slit my wrists from the boredom and drudgery of life right now. I know it sounds horribly misanthropic, but people really annoy me to no end. The miserable sheep. All they do is spin their wheels and ignore the utter pointlessness of life.

In other work-related news, if you must know, I've been asked to do theatre reviews. I already know how this will go - the play will no doubt be perfectly ridiculous enthralling and ever so enlightening and I will write a piece of tripe glowing and altogether brilliant criticism of the current state of the theatre. I'll be sure to let you know how that goes. I'm really annoyed actually that I have to do this at all, but a girl must pay the bills. All those years at Catholic school and finishing school are really paying dividends, aren't they? *rolls eyes*

Now, where's my drink?

 
 

17 Comments:

At 13:47, Anonymous Dave2 said...

I have no idea who this is.

Is it wrong that I was picturing Florence Henderson after I read it?

 
At 13:49, Anonymous Jacynth said...

No idea yet, but there's always tomorrow!

 
At 13:59, Anonymous johnomatopoeia said...

May I guess, ummm, Dorothy Parker?

 
At 14:27, Blogger suze said...

no idea. but fun!

 
At 15:08, Blogger Matt said...

Anything with the phrase 'piece of tripe' is worth reading. Very intrigued.

 
At 15:36, Blogger luckybuzz said...

Ooo! I'm guessing Dorothy Parker too!

 
At 15:41, Blogger Ms. Q said...

I'm not supposed to "reveal" the person until Friday but I'll email you if you guess correctly. =)

 
At 15:50, Anonymous H.F. Peterman said...

I look forward for tommorrows post.

 
At 16:39, Blogger Rabbit said...

Hooray! I'm 0 for . . . a whole lot of blogs. A perfect record!

Yeah, I have no idea who your historical figure is. But I agree that anything with the phrase "piece of tripe" in it has to be good.

 
At 16:51, Anonymous Nat said...

I like The Florence Henderson guess...

I'm guessing Dorothy Parker as well. So of the four I've read I think I maybe perhaps have gotten one.

 
At 18:40, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I'll just have to come back for the answer I suppose.

 
At 20:57, Blogger *lynne* (azlynne1972) said...

i have no idea, but i like the "attitude" of this lady :-) where's *my* drink??!

 
At 21:26, Anonymous Kathleen said...

Seems like other people have already guessed who I think it is - Dorothy Parker. If it is, what a fun choice!

 
At 01:09, Blogger Belinda said...

I guessed D.P. too, just because the "voice" you've done here is so...fitting for her! Cheers if it's her, and cheers if it's someone else; I'll keep reading either way.

And yes, Dave, you picturing Florence Henderson is almost always wrong. Especially if there is Crisco involved.

 
At 02:01, Blogger Claire said...

I have no idea! But I think this might be a gal I would like to have a drink with!

 
At 14:29, Blogger margalit said...

I'm going for Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table.

 
At 09:27, Blogger MsSisyphus said...

Dorthy Parker. Hands Down. You absolutely nailed the tone.

 

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