May 30, 2006

I itch, therefore, I scratch

Today you get to guess why I have the shakes! Wow, the fun never ends here at Whirled Peas, does it?

Today, I am shaking because...

A) I had too much coffee/meth/prozac/midol.
B) I forgot to eat breakfast.
C) I quit drinking.
D) I quit doing heroin.
E) I got an itty bitty sunburn on some sensitive parts and it hurts and itches like a motherf*&%@er so I had to take some Benadryl.


If you guessed E, you would be correct. Let's review:

A) There is no such thing as too much coffee (Meth/prozac/midol, maybe. But I don't take those things.)

B) I never eat breakfast so that is not an issue.

C) I really don't drink much. I had two drinks all weekend. Three days - two drinks. You do the math. I would hardly consider myself a raging alcoholic although that is starting to look pretty appealing these days.

D) I really don't do that much heroin. HA!!! I am kidding. Duh. I don't use, nor have I ever used, heroin.

E) In the interest of TMI, I spent time (mucho time) at the beach this weekend. I diligently covered my whole entire (very white) body in SPF 1,000,000 to avoid the grotesque sun rash/bumpy/itchy skin I get from the sun. I did so great! I am still (mostly) just as white as when I went out. Unfortunately, secretly and without my knowledge, apparently, my enormous bosoms sweated perspired thereby removing the sunblock and I got a terrible 2nd degree sunburn where my cleavage should be. Same thing for the backs of my knees. Owie. Ouch. Goshdernit. F#%K!!!!!

Anyway, to minimize the intense itching sensation and hopefully avoid breaking open any more blisters, I took Benadryl this morning. I would rather be semi-conscious at work than scratching profusely. Strangely, the Benadryl didn't make me sleepy so much as it gave me the shakes. Good times.

Photosensitivity is so much fun!! I highly recommend it.

I know abstinence is the only sure-fire way to prevent itchy, burny breakouts from the sun, but I am only human. I have needs and desires. I want to enjoy the sunshine like everyone else. That's why I practice safe-sunning. This usually involves covering from head to toe in a mega huge hat, long-sleeves, long pants or skirt, sunglasses and SPF 1,000,000 on any other exposed skin and even underneath my clothes. I was careless this time and actually LAID* out in the sun IN A BIKINI! Scandalous! I know. It wasn't for very long, but you know what they say - it only takes one time. Now I know. I've learned my lesson the hard way.

In other truthful news, I am overjoyed to be at work today. Aren't you, too? Did you have a wonderful weekend?

*I know LAID is not the grammatically correct word, but just go with it.



At 20:34, Blogger luckybuzz said...

Oh my gosh--OW! Hope you're feeling better soon...and I hope the beach was at least a little worth it!

At 20:58, Blogger Ms. Q said...

It was totally worth it! The weather was perfect and even the people couldn't deter me from having a very good and very relaxing time.

At 10:23, Blogger Richard said...

Antihistamines may make you drowsy because they are a central nervous system suppressant (not such luck in my case).

If you take tooooo much antihistamine it can rebound on you and make you hyper and jittery (you only took a little swig, not the whole bottle - right?)

I don't blame you for wanting to enjoy the sun. As a pink skin myself (ha! I don't even get to be pale ghostly white) - I envy people with beautiful golden pigmentation.


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