Give Peas a Chance

Now that I have found my blog again, I have no idea what to do with it. When it disappeared on Friday, and I couldn't access it (to read) I should have taken that opportunity to delete it altoghether. I have lost the inspiration. My mind, like my checking account, is empty.

Of course, I don't have the guts to pull the plug on this thing completely. It may be on life-support, but I will remove its feeding tube and ventilator when, and if, I realize there is absolutely no hope for a full recovery.

I want to get back to actually writing - preferably something Hilarious! Brilliant! of Earth shattering importance! Or not. Something interesting would be nice. It's been hard to write for a while now. I'm not sure what's holding me back. Whatever "it" is, it's affecting my real, offline life, too, so it's not just you.

I'd like to talk about how I feel really fat and ugly, and then I remember I am not actually fat or ugly even though I feel that way a lot lately.

Or how I feel socially awkward, moderately stupid, excessively clumsy and basically like a big dork but not in a cute "look at me! I'm a dork!" kind of way. You know what I mean? D-O-R-K. With no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Insufferably dorky. Impossible-to-be-around dorky.

Other times I want to whine about how broke I am and then I remember I have a really, really comfortable life in a very beautiful place and a ridiculously expensive latte habit.

Once in a while, I want to tell you how no one understands me but then I realize that I have PMS and a thyroid imbalance and it's probably not like that at all.

Often, I want to talk about missing my kids but they're pretty much all grown up now and what am I supposed to say really? How many ways can you actually say that? I miss them. I MISS them. I miss THEM. They grow up fast.

Of course, I could get philisophical and write about topics that I am passionate about but "Hating George W. Bush With the White Hot Intensity of a Thousand Suns" is already being covered by many, many people who are much better at it than I am.

Originally, today, I was going to do a meme: Ten Things that make me Happy, but I couldn't get the photos to load. I'll try again tomorrow. Photos that won't load? Do not make me happy!

Occassionally, I think that this could be a stellar weblog if I would put a little more effort into it. And then I realize that I could be stellar at a lot of things if I just got off my lazy ass and put the effort into them.

Overall, I feel like it's worthwhile to keep this going and keep looking for the inspiration. It's always there when least expect it. I'll find it soon.

In the meantime, thanks for sticking around even when I've got nothing to say. If not for you, lurkers and all, I would have hung it up long ago!