June 9, 2006

Rules of Commutement

Shoutout to Blogger for finally working! *knock on wood* Yay for small miracles.

As a public service, I am offering you my Rules of the Commute so that if you ever find yourself wanting or needing to take public transportation in Orange County you'll be a little bit prepared for a smooth ride. This is just one of many services I offer. Another service I offer? Sarcasm. Hey, someone's gotta do it.

Without further adieu...

#1. Be prepared for any kind of weather.

Welcome to sunny southern California? In June? Yeah. NO. You can't really tell from this picture that it was quite chilly and drizzling this morning. You should be able to clearly see the pier in this picture. It was DoublePlus June Gloom this week. Luckily, I found my teh old Gap rain anorak to keep me warm and dry while waiting. I haven't worn it since I lived in Seattle, but then again, I don't normally wait for the train in the rain either.

#2. Leave the martinis at home.
I've been taking the train to work now for a few weeks. There are so many reasons to do it and, being the self-congratulatory, self-righteous person that I am, I will outline them here: I'm saving mucho money on gas, reducing traffic congestion, reducing pollution, reducing dependence on oil, giving myself a little stress relief (not THAT kind), mingling with the common man, supporting mass transit (such that it is in Orange County), and well just gracing the Metrolink with my presence.

This morning, I nabbed a seat near the door and looked up to see this sign. (click to embiggen)

First box means No Smoking - okay by me.

Second box, I think means "No sprinkling confetti on the floor" which isn't something I would do anyway since I am a little OCD about sprinkling confetti on the floor. I'm not sure if there are confetti bandits on the train but this sign is a warning to them. No sprinkling of confetti is allowed. And you're just going to have to move that ticker tape parade outside, people. It is strictly prohibited. I, for one, am in favor of this rule.

Third box looks like "No Boom Boxes" which were quite popular in the 80s but I haven't actually seen one of them in at least ten years. I would be very disturbed if I saw someone break one of those bad boys out and start locking, popping and doing "the worm" in the aisle. iPods seem to be the preferred mode of music listening these days. [On a side note: I dreamt I needed an iPod for a class last night because all the lectures where podcasts. I wonder if that means I should buy one with my student loan in August?]

The fourth box is what really got my attention: "No Martinis". Excuse me? I am at a loss on this one. I understand "no martinis" in the morning mostly because I don't like drinking anything that isn't strong coffee or a bloody mary before noon. But "no martinis" at night? Helloooo! I have to work all day long, then wait for the bus, ride the bus to the train station, wait some more, catch the train and then I have to listen to 14 nearby idiots rambling moronically (and loudly) into their cell phones?! If ever there was an appropriate time for martinis this would be it! I oppose the "no martini" rule on the evening train. But then again, if they let me have a martini, then they'd probably let the gigantic, stinky guy drink Budweiser by the keg which he would then spill on me when the train lurched to a stop. And we can't have that! So, I sheepishly endorse the No Martini rule, but would be open to allowing beautiful, smart and coordinated people to drink them on a trial basis and see how it goes. (Sadly, being only mediocre in looks and smarts, and extremely uncoordinated, I'd be exempt from the trial.)

#3. Allow plenty of time to wake up first.

Don't let this picture fool you. It's really much worse in person. I rolled out of bed this morning one hour late. I had 20 minutes to get ready and out the door. I needed a cup of coffee and I needed to check my email so some other minor things were sacrificed. Little things. You know, like having a shower, washing my hair, brushing my teeth, putting on makeup, finding matching underwear and clean socks. I think I did manage to swipe the deodorant quickly on my pits, but that's about the extent of my hygeinic effort this morning. I mean, I like it when I get a whole row of seats to myself on the train, but I want it to be for reasons other than "you look and smell like shit, woman!"

I think that covers the basics. Let me know if you have any other rules to add! I'm curious what other people go through to take public transportation.

Happy Friday! Posted by Picasa



At 14:50, Blogger Beth said...

Ooo, I got a flask for my birthday that looks like a cell phone with a leather case and everything - it's very cool. I haven't used it yet but it sounds like it would be perfect for those nights on the train when no martinis are allowed. Something to think about!

At 15:15, Blogger a.j.ashberry said...

like this topic. Having never had a driver’s license, I walk, cycle, bus, or carpool to work and every where else I must go in my life. (Off topic) Has any one ever thanked me for the discipline I've shown in my life and the minimal impact I've had on the environment? Well, if shouting obscenities from the passenger side window of a speeding car is thanks, then yes. (Back to topic)
I have to say the best part of riding the bus is when the b o is so bad, I start to wonder if it's me who smells.

On the topic of voting, I admit I forgot I was a registered voter for a few years but of course Clinton had a pretty good handle on things not like the tyrant in office now - which troubled me so much that I started paying attention and voting. I don't think people are accustomed to thinking about anything other than what they want to buy next or who should be the next American Idol. As long as they can be distracted, the brain shrinks, cells die and Bush can do what ever the fuck he wants. Lincoln said, this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. I guess we’ve had it long enough. It’s some one else’s’ turn

At 12:13, Blogger Oliver said...

1) Accept that everyone is different - and different doesn't necessarily mean bad. For instance, a pungent elderly and intoxicated man reading a copy of The Sun and paying particular attention to the Page 3 model - he's different. Embrace diversity.

2) Public transport is a bit like a job - you may not get anything for a long time, but then several may come along at once. Which one to choose? Whichever will get me to where I want to go, the quickest. Which one is that - how the fuck do I know?

3) Patience is a virtue - learn it or suffer at the hands of insanity. Spending many an hour waiting for connecting trains, buses or planes can cause mental imbalance, comparable with a short-lived nervous breakdown. Absorb yourself in books, music and anything that stops you from thinking too deeply about life, love and the President of the United States.


Great post! Love it.

At 13:56, Blogger luckybuzz said...

"If ever there was an appropriate time for martinis this would be it!"

A-freaking-men, sister. And a great post. :)

At 02:19, Blogger Karl said...

It's very early in the a.m. or late in the p.m. and I just found you via Beth (who just left here with her poker cash). Buck up little camper, all will be well...

At 06:32, Blogger Jesse said...

I had assume the second was refering to no triple yo-yo'ing and/or If you are going to jugle, don't drop all your balls.

At 09:38, Blogger my imperfect offering said...

Ooh, I love the "flask that looks like a cell phone" idea! Of course I live out in the 'burbs and drive to work every day, so it probably wouldn't work out as well for me. ;)

Love this post!

At 09:59, Blogger Beth said...

Actually, Karl and his fiancee were the ones who gave me the cell phone flask - I'm pretty sure they got it at World Market for any of you who are interested.

At 10:32, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

No martinis? Crazy talk. BTW, if you want a bad morning picture, check out my place this morning.

At 18:21, Blogger Ree said...

Love the pigtails. Hate Blogger.

At 19:19, Blogger J.J. said...

At least you have a nice view from the train platform (if it wasn't June Gloom).

At 21:19, Anonymous Lori said...

What? There's public transportation in CA? You never told me this! Can it get me from somewhere that I can afford to live (other than under a bridge) to El Segundo??

BTW, July 5th is my official start date. I am. so. excited......

At 08:42, Blogger Ms. Q said...

Lori, yes and probably! I am excited for you! That is really soon!

At 14:00, Anonymous lori said...


It IS soon. And I'm traveling non-stop between now and then, so I'll be the pale, lost-looking person in clothes that don't match driving the wrong way down unfamiliar one-way streets. But I'll be smiling!


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