Pet Peeves, The Meme
This is incredibly apropos because yesterday I drafted a post about my pet peeves. I didn't want to sound all crabby ('n shit) because it was Monday and everyone is crabby enough as it is and I really wanted to make a more positive contribution to the internets.
Anyway. I finally got caught up on blog reading and saw this meme at Jesse's and Clare's. Here goes my list of peeves for this Tuesday:
- Grammatical pet-peeve: I hate when people use "irregardless". Gah! I also really detest it when people add "'n shit" after every other noun phrase or verb phrase. As in, "we went to the store 'n shit and bought some fuckin' beer 'n shit". Also, "fuckin'". Learn some new words, geniuses! If you're buying Beer and Shit at the store, I want to know where so I can avoid it.
- Household pet peeve: Basically, I get really uptight about everything household related. Cat hair everywhere? You're going to the pound!!! Clothes on the floor? Someone must die! Stuff that doesn't get put back where it came from? Heads might roll. Dirty dishes in the sink? Well, I might leave those for a little while, but only glasses or cups, not dinner dishes. I hate dirt, dust, crooked things, stacks of mail, and cds out of alphabetical order. Yeah, I'm a real joy to live with! Luckily my hubs is equally as anal as me. We are Mr. & Mrs. Anal. Nice to meet you!
- Arts & Entertainment pet peeve: Ryan Seacrest. The end.
- Liturgical pet peeve: I guess it would be singing. I can't sing in key to save my life and I feel really bad when I'm just standing there listening to everyone else singing in (or out of) key. I just can't sing in public so I end up mouthing the words. Lame, I know!
- Wild card: I am mystified by the random nature of fast food soft drink sizes when ordered in the drive-thru. Still with me? I never know how big a "small" is so when I order a "small" at, say, Arby's and it's only 4 oz. I am really annoyed especially if I am really thirsty. Other times, I'm not terribly thirsty but I'll order a medium and it's the size of a super, super, super, mega Big Gulp. Can we just standardize soft drink sizes? You know, small is 8 oz., medium is 12 and large is whatever. Also, Starbucks and their retarded "tall", "grande" and "venti" sizes. I am annoyed by this on behalf of all the people who are too intimidated to order.
- Bonus: What could I possibly do that may irritate others? Nothing! I am perfect! Ha. I keed. Do you want the whole list or just the top 10?!!! I think by virtue of breathing, I annoy many people. I'm fast and impatient, I explain everything 3 times (I think that will make me a good professor, though), I know waaaaayyyyy too much trivia to really be any fun, I take myself waaaayyyyy too seriously, I breathe through my nose (loudly), I smoke, I put on makeup while driving, I can't go anywhere without a cup of coffee in my hand, I pay my bills late, I wear the same 3 outfits all the time (I think this only annoys Mr. Q), see #2 above... well, you get the picture.
Whew. That was cathartic! I feel so much better getting all that off my chest. I have more peeves these days than I could possibly cover in one post. I have a lot of grammatical pet peeves but I have been a lot better lately about letting it bother me. I am a linguist, yo. I am descriptive, not prescriptive. I embrace grammatical diversity! I ain't shittin' you or nothin'. I love to hear people talk 'n shit!
9 Comments:
awww... c'mon! You don't like the 'n' shit game 'n' shit! (Of course, I'm joking around when I say 'n' shit, and I think you're talking about people who say it all fer real 'n' shit.)
Look at all those commas n'shit...
Oh, and I said this to clare. I will say it to you:
I wouldn't come to my house if I were you, it's all messy n'shit.
My coffee shop is super nice. They have 2 sizes. 12oz and 16oz.... n'shit.
That was great 'n shit! Can you come to my house and anal-ize it? Here's my list...
1. Grammatical: SUPPOSABLY. Not a word.
2. Household: CDs out of alphabetical order, as they currently are, because I just moved them. It's making me shake.
3. A&E: As always, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
4. Liturgical: Not that I go to church any more, but when I did it was priests who spent the entire homily chastising people for showing up only on Easter and Christmas. Which, of course, included me.
5. Wild Card: When my feet are constricted by my shoes. It makes me want to scream.
6. I am annoying because I am one of those people who gets uber-excited and hyper about things. Especially when caffeine is added to the equation. I talk non-stop. I know, I know, hard to believe.
'n shit.
Shhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone because I hate it when people say "supposably", but it is actually a word. I found out one day when I was going to give a lecture on bad grammar - I looked it up just to be sure and, dammit!, it is a real word, albeit misused most of the time. Grrrr. I hate it anyway!
And I am TRYING to be more laid back at home. It's hard when you're hyper though! Hyper plus caffienated equals OCD with the chores!
Umm...I'd comment on these, but the last 2 sentences of the household pet peeve section makes it sound like you star in porn. I can't think of a way to respond to anything else because I'm too busy laughing at that one.
Craig, Didn't you know? That's our side business! =P
I think I need to re-read my posts before I publish! Is it too late to edit?
NO! Supposably is a WORD? Say it isn't so! Well, I'm still going to go on the theory that it's WRONG and it sounds STUPID! :)
Have you guys looked at dictionary.com? According to them, both "irregardless" and "supposably" are words.
Fuck that.
I don't trust any reference material that says that those two are words. I'll say ain't. I'll say gonna. I'll say dis. But I will never, ever use either irregardless or supposably, except when using them as examples of things I hate with a fiery burning passion.
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