24 hours later...

Thank you all for your wonderful thoughts! They really mean a lot to me. For those just tuning in, I had a septoplasty yesterday to repair what they thought was a deviated septum. I am going to try to recap the day but since I am seriously in pain and on vicodin, it will probably come out like "bleimo meep hilzie bmehfp al;fjieil!"

Pre-op was great. Mr. Q kept my mind off the surgery and my spirits were high. We joked around and I did a hospital gown fashion show. When the anesthesiologist came in, I was as cool as a cucumber.

I don't remember anything about the next two hours. But apparently the surgery took twice as long and they broke my face twice as much. When I came to, I felt like I had been beaten about the nose with crowbars, and then repeatedly kicked, and for good measure someone had an elephant stand on my nose just to make sure it was completely obliterated. On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain was at least a 23. I am not exaggerating. I thought I had a high tolerance for pain but I have never had pain in my face like this. If I had had the facial coordination to do so, I would have been cursing like a sailor.

Why did it take them 2 hours, instead of 1? Technically, they thought I had your garden variety deviated septum caused by a nose injury earlier in life. When they got all up in there, they decided it was congenital nasal stenosis which I think is a fancy way of saying I was born with a way crooked nose. Why this makes a difference still hasn't been fully explained to me, or maybe it was but the Vicodin has made it impossible for me to understand much of anything.

Back to post-op: I was fully expecting to have stuff up my nose, and I was actually a little jazzed to have tampons in my nose, because not everyone gets to say they had tampons up their nose. But nobody told me that I was going to have a giant, swollen nose, packed to the max with godknowswhat, and two tubes hanging out so I can breathe. As an added fashion bonus, I get to have a "moustache tray" filled with gauze right below my nose to catch all the blood and stuff dripping out of my nose. I am not only feeling like shit, but I am looking like a freak to boot. I would post pictures but I don't think you want to see that. Seriously.


On a positive note, my husband has been amazing! He has waited on me hand and foot, supplied me with a steady stream of drugs, and brought me yummy things to eat and drink. Our friend, Bogie, brought me Cherry Garcia last night and he didn't even laugh at me or run away shrieking at my hideousness!

(Super Totally Awesome Bonus: My daughter, Princess Jojo, has a friend we'll call Nick and she chose last night to bring him home to meet us. Nick is super cute and super sweet and he'll never know what a hottie Jojo's mom is because he met me looking like this:


hahahahaha. ow. Don't make me laugh, it hurts!)

It was a truly difficult day and much worse than I even imagined it was going to be. I scarcely recall ever feeling this bad ever, but I hope it gets better. I think I am feeling a little bit better already. I really hope it was worth it but for now the jury is still out!