August 3, 2006

It is Awesome to be Me!

Yesterday was Wednesday. I woke up and thought "Gee, you know what would be awesome today? I'd really like to go to the doctor and get stuck with needles. And since I haven't been stranded on the side of the road in the last 24 hours, I really hope my newly fixed car breaks down so I can flirt with handsome tow truck drivers!"

Lucky me!!! I totally got my wishes! (Except for the cute flirtatious tow truck driver - that didn't happen this time.)

Tuesday afternoon, the hospital called me to say surgery was scheduled for August 8th. A whole 7 days away. Woohoo. Thanks for the advanced notice! HMOs, you rock my world!

You may not be aware of my facial deformity, but I have this pesky crooked nose that needs to be straightened so I can look pretty and breathe right. Anyway, in order to get all my ducks in a row, I have to have 3 pre-op appointments before Friday. The first one was yesterday (Wednesday). They violently jabbed my arm with a needle and took about 4 dozen vials of blood.

As if that weren't enough pain and suffering for one week, I have to go back in today to get more blood drawn. Because they didn't get enough! Wow, where do I send the Thank You card?

And because breaking down on Monday night just wasn't suffcient enough to dampen my irrational enthusiasm for driving a Saab, I had the distinct pleasure of standing on the side of the freeway AGAIN last night!!! I was only 3 miles from home but my car crapped out on me. Again. My new car. The really pretty one that is really fast and is so much fun to drive. When it's running that is. This time it wasn't on empty or anywhere even close so I know it's not my fault. I am pretty sure I wasn't actually out of gas Monday, come to think of it.

Like the good ass-lickers professional car dealers they are, they put me in another loaner car and called me first thing this morning to say it was a Tech Error and TOTALLY THEIR FAULT. Apparently, when they replaced my fuel pump on Tuesday, they accidentally kinked the gas line. Niiiiiiiice! I wonder what they're going to do to it this time. Maybe it's because I'm so darn cute, they can't stand the thought of going more than 2 days without seeing my face or hearing my sweet voice on the phone. (How sad is it that they are #1 on my speed dial now? And how sad is it that I still want this car?)

Anyway, for those keeping score at home: that's two breakdowns in one week, needles and paperwork for surgery. Apologies to VH1, but I think I am definitely having the BEST WEEK EVER!!

Saab: 2
Me: 0



At 13:14, Blogger Craig said...

Ok, that really does suck. You need to go buy yourself an ice cream or something to make up for all that.

At 13:44, Blogger Serena said...

They love you enough that I'd get a restraining order. ; )

At 15:20, Blogger luckybuzz said...

I second the ice cream idea. Or a big, tall drink. And then another.

At 18:05, Blogger Beth said...

I'd watch where you are walking. You never know when you're going to be struck by lighting. It'll get better soon, I promise!

At 18:19, Blogger Dr. Brazen Hussy said...

Oh dear. I really shouldn't laugh. Really, I should stop that right now...

At 18:55, Blogger Dafina Girl said...

That's awful. It's those days that make you go: thanks God! 'Preciate the helping hand!

Can you drink before your operation?

You know what happened to my second cousin in France? She went in for surgery to get this little broken blood vessel under her skin removed (abusive husband, later commited suicide, long story) add while she was under the doctor decided to do her eyelids as well. So, being a French man, he removed the fat under her eyes and put it in her forehead and she looked like she had lost fifteen years.

Does that make you want to live in France or not?

At 04:07, Blogger my imperfect offering said...

Oh my, this is a terrible week. I would suggest taking Friday off, you probably should not leave the house. ;)

I feel your pain over your new car. A few years ago I bought this spiffy little red RX-8. The dealership neglected to tell me that you cannot start the engine on these cars and then turn them off right away, so hubby backs the car out of the garage to wash it. When he's finished he restarts the engine and pulls it back into the garage and -- yes, turns the engine off! The next morning my brand-spankin' new sports car was deader than a doornail (whatever that is). I had to have the car towed to the dealership and didn't get it back for 24 hours...I was so pissed! And phobic after that, afraid to turn the car off (even after putting in hotter plugs). So now I'm back to driving a Pathfinder, 'cuz I just couldn't live with the lack of trust I had with that car. :(

I hope your car woes are nothing but distant memories soon.

At 07:37, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

The Saab is an evil genius, I tell you. It must be to outwit the brilliant Ms. Q.

At 12:09, Anonymous Danielle said...

I am gonna kick that Saab in the NUTS!


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