Official Whirled Peas Freak Out

Here we go. I have less than 24 hours to go until they break my face tomorrow morning. The deviated septum? It's not so bad. I've lived with it this long. So what if my nose whistles when I breathe? It's not the worst thing I can imagine! I think I can still chicken out. But first, I should create the old pro/con list. This is a medical procedure but as far as I know it's still elective.

Pros:
I'll be able to breathe right
I won't snore as much
My nose will look a little straighter
I'll get to eat ice cream and sleep for 3 days after surgery
Narcotics!

Imaginary Pros:
I will look even more beautiful (as if that is even possible!! HA!)
I won't have trouble trimming my nose hairs on one side that is much narrower than the other (as if that will ever be necessary! My nose hairs are never noticeable at all!)

Cons:
Pain
Suffering
General anesthesia
Packing and splints in my nostrils for several days (as Craig described it: Tampons in my nose! Thanks Craig!)
Bleeding
Puking
Narcotics - I'm not a big fan of being heavily medicated. Anything stronger than vodka freaks me out a little.

Imaginary Cons:
My nose will come out looking like WC Fields' nose or worse, Michael Jackson's nose, even though they aren't supposed to change anything AT ALL cosmetically.
I could DIE!!! during surgery and that's why I had to fill out an Advance Directive.
It won't make a bit of difference and I'll go through all the pain but still not be able to breathe normally.
I will be bored at home during recovery.
No one will come visit me at home.
No one will bring me Ben & Jerry's at home.


Well, well. It appears that my Pro list is waaaay shorter than my Con list. The only question is, do the pros OUTWEIGH the cons. I can't really tell. Oh no. I'm skeered.

Hold me.